MAY 23
I know that I just recently updated the site, and I'm not really good about doing it, not nearly as good as I should be, but I feel that this needed to be posted.  Logan is doing well, the bug is finally out of his system and he is acting like himself again.  It was scary there for a while even when he was out of the hospital because he was still so lethargic and he slept in my arms all the time.

It brought back so many terrible memories from when he was sick.  Those horrible days in the hospital when he was hurting and I was helpless to help him.  I cry asI write this because the memories are still so painful, him on our laps, or him laying in his crib with the oxygen mask attached to him.  Of the nights that I cried myself to sleep worrying that he was going to die and that I would lose my baby.  I find myself listening to a song a lot lately.  It reminds me of how I felt, it's from a father's point of view and the child in the song is a little older, but I feel it just the same.  It's by a Christian artist named Mark Shultz.  I know it's ironic that I'm listening to a Christian song right now while I'm still angry with God, but I still levitate to it.I heard it on an episode of the Home Makeover show with Ty Pennington that's on Sunday nights.  It goes like this:

I'm down on my knees again tonight
I'm hoping this prayer will turn out right
See there is a boy that needs Your help
I've done all that I can do myself
His mother is tired
I'm sure You can understand
Each night as he sleeps
She goes in to hold his hand
And she tries not to cry
As the tears fill her eyes
CHORUS:
Can You hear me?
Am I getting through tonight?
Can You see him?
Can You make him feel all right?
If You can hear me
Let me take his place somehow
See, he's not just anyone
He's my son
Sometimes late at night I watch him sleep
I dream of the boy he'd like to be
I try to be strong and see him through
But God who he needs right now is You
Let him grow old
Live life without this fear
What would I be
Living without him here
He's so tired and he's scared
Let him know that You're there
CHORUS
Can You hear me?
Can You see him?
Please don't leave him
He's my son

This latest hospital visit has really scared me.  I'm terrified once again to bring him out of the house.  From what we know he got this bug from the hospital somehow.  The damn hospital, where he's supposed to be safe.  It reminded me of how fragile his body and his life still is.  I'm scared about this upcoming trip to N.C. because I'm scared of he might catch on the plane or in the terminal.  The fact that he once again hates wearing his mask doesn't make me feel any better.  I'll hold his arms down so that he can't get it off if I have to.  But I'm so scared, especially with this swine flu, the doctor says that it's safe for him to travel this way but that doesn't completely reassure me, I'm still scared.  It's scary because to look at him he looks like any other child, no one would know how unsafe he is to look at him, but he is in such danger when he goes out into the world.  The doctor told me that we were lucky he got this virus when he did, because if he had gotten it any sooner it could have killed him.  I know that I usually just write about what is happening with him and I leave my feelings out of these updates, but I can't help it this time, this time I want to share it with you all.  With my friends and family. 

This will also help with my book, it will remind me what I was feeling.  I forgot to say that Logan was put on two more medications in the hospital, an anti-viral, and another one which I have no idea what it does.  They also upped his Magnesium dose from twice a day to four times a day, the medicine that I have no clue what it does is also four times a day.  I feel like I'm giving him medicine every time I turn around.  Some times the days go by so fast because of this.  Dave isn't worried about this, but I guess I'm just a worrier, I can't help it.  I've seen him close to death and I never want to see or experience that again.

MAY 18
Logan's story was featured on a Save the Cord Foundation article. Save the Cord is a foundation that aims at getting the word out about umbilical cord blood and the stem cells that umbilical cord blood has. For those of you who aren't aware, Logan received a Cord Blood transplant to halt the progression of Hurler's Syndrome. Check out the article by clicking here.

MAY 17
I'm sorry that we haven't updated lately, but we have been busy.  About two weeks ago, on Monday, Logan was acting lethargic and was running a fever.  We called the doctor's office and they told us to take him to the emergency room.  We were there for about five hours, then they finally sent him home. 

The next day was exactly the same thing, he was completely lethargic, laying on my lap with his eyes half open, not conscious of what was going on.  The doctor's office called to check on him and after hearing how he was feeling she insisted that we take him back to the emergency room.  While we were there they had to catheterize him, which about made me sick (he's not circumcised and they had to pull the foreskin back, which was really horrible to watch).  After another five hours and a spinal tap and a CT scan the ER the doctors decided that it would be best if he were admitted.  So, at about 11 at night, we were there at 5, they took us up to our room for the night.  Since Dave had to work the next day I was the one who had to spend the night with him.  I didn't know how he would sleep in a crib since he wouldn't do it at home, so they brought a bed in and we shared it, it was uncomfortable for my back and that night I didn't sleep very well. 

The next day in the hospital he was the same as the two previous days.  They gave him more antibiotics the night before and so when Dr. Mageed (our doctor in Michigan) came in that morning he was pretty sure that whatever Logan had, it was viral.  They would come in everyday and tell us that it wasn't this virus or that one.  It went on everyday like that for days, it was really frustrating.  He was extremely sick and we didn't know why, it was also scary.  Not knowing how he got it, what had happened, if we had put him in danger some how without knowing it or if it was something that we couldn't do anything about.  It was really hard to watch him be so unanimated, all he wanted to do was sleep. 

Mom and Dad came up and he just laid on them and did nothing.  We were all sad to see him like that.  He spent six days in-patient in the hospital.  Some days he would perk up and even play on a mat on the floor for a little while, but most of the time he was just too tired to do anything.  He would play for about an hour and then he would be exhausted for the rest of the day.  They're were many days that he seemed good enough to go home, but the doctor would keep him for another day.  His levels would some days be perfect and others they would be off.  One of the main things that was off was his protein level.  That was what he was lacking, so we were trying to pack him with all the meat and protein that we could.  Mom and Dad were even bringing in Reese's Peanut Butter Cups so that he got the protein from the peanut butter, plus that way they got to spoil him with some candy.  It was pretty amusing.

After running hundreds of tests on his blood they finally figured out what he had.  It was something from the same strain of a cold sore virus.  They said that he would have contracted within ten days and he would have gotten it from a child since adults get this strain by the time they're 4 or 5.  The only thing that we can figure is that he got it at the hospital, either when he went in for his weekly checkup, or when he went in for physical therapy.  It makes me nervous now to send him to the hospital, but what can I really do?  He needs to be seen by the doctor, and he needs his therapies.  We'll just have to make sure that they clean all their toys and mats off before he touches anything.

Even after we got out of the hospital Logan was still not feeling well, it took until Friday for him to perk up.  He spent Monday through Thursday laying on my lap, just like he did in the hospital.  But when I took him into the hospital for his check-up the doctor said that his levels were fine and that he would probably act tired since he was still fighting off the virus.  He said that he would have good days and he would have bad days.  Today, Saturday, he is still very active and moving all around the house, so I think he finally has this bug out of his system, thank God.  My back is killing me from sitting in a chair and holding him for so long and I have been extremely sore lately.

When we got home we got some bad news.  Dave's mother had called earlier in the day and informed us that his Grandmother had fallen and when they got home from the hospital she had a stroke.  She couldn't move and she couldn't talk.  They were told by a woman (who we learned later was hardly involved in the medical field) that she would only make it a day or two.  So that night Dave went down to his mother's house to see Grandma.  We would have brought Logan down but his Mom's house is so smokey that it isn't safe for him to be in there.  The next day David's brother, who is a doctor, went to visit and when he examined Grandma he realized that she didn't have a stroke, instead, when she had fallen she had hurt herself and was bleeding into her brain.  His brother said that it could be three days or it could be three months, but she is going to die from this.  It's okay though, she is 91 years old and she is ready to go.  They couldn't understand much of what she was saying, but she understood her saying "Open the pearly gates, I'm ready to go home."  So, we hope that she goes peacefully and soon.  Please pray for her and for David, and his family as they go through this extremely hard time.